It is the first night of my bleed, on the full moon of course, and as I write in my journal before bed, I channel fire and passion from my womb that must be shared. Our bleed is sacred… it is a monthly sacrifice in exchange for wisdom. It is why women gathered together in Red Tents, to channel together. It is a deep memory within me, because I carry the DNA of every mother since the dawn of time. We all do. Mitochondrial DNA, meaning we carry and remember every mother of our entire lineage, that connects us all. Her battles, her voice, her silence, her harm, her labor, her power, her rituals. The womb holds it all, it is the thread between us all. It contains codes and powers. But when else have any women in your lineage ever had this much freedom? Freedom not only to speak about anything but also to broadcast it to the world. Not even Queens had this luxury. This is the moment your ancestors have been waiting for. You have been chosen to use this freedom for the great awakening and bond amongst us all, in order to shift the world into Love. Oh, what a time to be alive. We have long been separated, but we have been granted access to one another across the world, and thus our wisdom and voices and power. Women are the majority of users across social platforms, so women are the influence today. We are all waking up across the world, aiding one another in the slumber and spell we have been under. Once we awaken to it, there is fire and rage. It is a catalyst for liberation, because we alchemize it into reform and awaken others. Since women are divine by nature, we are driven by the evolution of our soul, which requires us to grow and make changes from the hardships. The option to stay the same — tame— is not possible. It is not in our nature. We are wild and free. And our freedom is what will set Mother Earth free. The long imbalance has existed because men feared our divinity and therefore harmed and silenced women. To hurt a woman is to hurt God. Women are light, women are grace, women are good, women are wise, women are empathetic, women are warmth, women are creators, women are protectors, women love unconditionally, women are Love, and Love is God. The world is shifting… women are taking back their power and remembering their Divinity as One with God. Good wins. Because, even with our power back, our ultimate goal for humanity is for peace and love, not revenge. We are teaching each other to love ourselves more and therefore choosing partners that respect women and raising sons to respect women, daughters to raise their standards. This is how it shifts.

Women, use the time of your menstrual cycle to unlock the portal of wisdom within you. This wisdom is to be shared amongst each other. This wisdom will set the world free. Our period is Holy, yet we have been conditioned to believe that it is shameful. The same portal that creates life creates blood. The womb and the voice are connected… the messages come directly inside the womb and must be expressed. I have come to love my bleed, and with loving it, comes deep respect for the words it offers me. I embrace the permission it gives me to rest in order to make space for direction and clarity. I am in tune with my body and feel the powers of the hormones dancing, each with its own power throughout the month. There is a fire in me I cannot contain, and will no longer do so. It is my path to awaken other women, it always has been, and if you’ve made it this far, it’s yours too.

-ERZA HANA

have your new year’s resolutions already fallen through? good. they should have.

in the dead of winter, we expect ourselves to perform harder than at any other time of the year. right when the earth itself is resting. winter is yin energy. the trees are bare. animals have gone into hibernation. Mother Earth has turned inward. so why do we expect ourselves to do the opposite?

our modern & distorted calendar pushes us out of rhythm with the natural world. january arrives and suddenly we’re told to reinvent ourselves and take action. but winter was never meant for performance.

winter mirrors menstruation and the new moon. when a woman is bleeding, hormones drop and energy pulls inward. the dark new moon reflects the same phase in the sky. this is natural cyclical alignment.

and while this phase looks quiet from the outside, something powerful is happening internally. insight becomes clearer. emotions heighten. intuition sharpens. ideas form. this is why menstrual and new moon energy have long been considered potent times for vision and manifestation. creation does not begin with action. it begins here.

winter reflects this same pattern on a larger scale.

if you’ve fallen into seasonal depression, you may be fighting the rhythm instead of moving with it. the happiest countries in the world year after year are also some of the coldest and darkest places like denmark, finland, and norway. how? they lean into winter instead of resisting it. they practice hygge which is wool blankets, fires, shared meals, quiet evenings, time with family. winter becomes a season of intimacy and restoration rather than productivity.

for most of human history, summer meant labor. growing food. harvesting enough to survive the winter. winter was the opposite. it was the season of slowing down, of storytelling, of gathering together and living off the fruits of what had already been grown. yet modern society forces ourselves into endless summer.

we are now only a week away from the spring equinox, the true rebirth of the year. light begins to overtake darkness, life returns to the earth and the zodiac begins again with aries, reigniting fire.

so if your resolutions fell apart, give yourself grace for not following through. you were simply trying to bloom in the middle of winter. dust of your goals & try again. this time when the earth is actually waking up with you.

now the fire returns.
and so do you.

• what you love
• what you’re good at
• what the world needs
• what you can be paid for

in the center of that overlap? your Ikigai.

How to find your Ikigai

take out a blank page and draw four overlapping circles like a venn diagram. label them: what i love, what i’m good at, what the world needs, and what i can be paid for.

now journal freely. let your answers be raw, intuitive, and imperfect.

what are the things you love doing so much that time disappears?
what do people consistently come to you for?
what strengths do others see in you that you sometimes overlook?
what have you lived through that could help someone else?
what would you keep doing even if no one paid you?
what breaks your heart about the world, and what part of you feels called to respond?

as you write, you may start to notice certain answers repeating themselves. the same themes. the same desires. the same gifts. that is where the pattern begins to reveal itself. the magic lives where these answers begin to echo one another. that’s your Ikigai in motion.

you don’t need to monetize your purpose overnight. you don’t need to go viral or launch a business tomorrow. but you do need to start listening to the part of you that quietly knows there is more. there’s a place where your truth meets the world’s medicine.

the world needs you in your element. not someone else’s version of purpose. yours.

before God was spoken of as a man in the sky, there was the Mother. the great womb of creation. not something to fear, something to feel.

the oldest spirituality on earth was never something written in a book. it was something the body understood.

it lived in the rhythms of blood and moon. in the cycles of death and rebirth. in the quiet knowing that life moves in seasons.

women carried this knowing. in the midwives. the medicine women. the ones who knew the plants, the body, the stars. the ones who gathered around fire and shared stories while children slept beside them.

this was not mythology. this was simply how life worked.

when women gathered in circles, when they bled with the moon, when they sang and cried and prayed beneath the sky, they were not worshipping something outside themselves.

they were living inside the sacred.

but something shifted. power began to concentrate. fear replaced reverence. control replaced relationship.

the sacred was rewritten. the Goddess was hidden. her stories erased. her temples dismantled. the women who carried her wisdom were silenced.

but she never disappeared.

she lives in the body. in intuition. in the quiet voice that tells you when something is wrong. in the pull to gather with other women. in the grief you feel when you see injustice.

she lives in the way women instinctively hold one another. in the way creation moves through the womb, through the hands, through the voice.

you are the altar.

every time you trust your intuition, every time you honor your cycle, every time you speak your truth or hold another woman through her pain, you are practicing the oldest spirituality on earth.

this is not about returning to something ancient. it is about remembering something that never left.

the sacred feminine is not a trend. it is a remembering.

and it is happening everywhere.

what if your body was never something to control, but something to listen to? what if your intuition was not irrational, but deeply intelligent?

what if your anger was not something to suppress, but a signal that something sacred had been crossed? what if your bleeding was not inconvenient, but part of a rhythm the earth itself follows?

this is for the women who feel that knowing. the ones whose bodies recognize the drumbeat of the earth. the ones who feel something stirring inside them that they cannot fully explain.

you are not worshipping something.

you are remembering what you are.

this is for the woman who miscarried. not just a loss, but a moment that altered her. and she deserves to be seen.

what happens to a woman after a miscarriage?

no one really talks about it. or if they do, they speak in medical language. timelines. recovery. statistics.

but they rarely speak about what happens to the soul of a woman who held life, even for a moment.

because something always stays with her. even after the bleeding stops. even after the body heals.

her womb remembers.

she carried life. even if only briefly. and that moment changes something deep inside her.

there is often a silence that follows. sometimes it lasts days. sometimes years.

it can feel like numbness. or grief that moves through the body in waves.

some women cry constantly. others feel nothing at all and wonder why.

both are real. both are part of the process.

because miscarriage is not only physical. it is an encounter with life and death in the same moment.

a soul arrived. and then it left. and the body felt both.

many women describe a shift after this experience. their intuition becomes stronger. their sensitivity deepens. their understanding of life changes.

this is not something we talk about enough. but the body knows when it has crossed a threshold.

some spirit babies come to stay. some pass through briefly. some open something in a woman’s heart that was not there before.

and even if they never return, they leave something behind. a new awareness. a new depth. a new version of the woman who walked through it.

she is not broken. she is not less. she is changed.

her womb is not a place of failure. it is a place that once held life. and that matters.

if you have walked through miscarriage, know this.

you are not alone. you are not forgotten. you are not less.

you are still a vessel of life. you are still worthy of tenderness. you are still sacred.

in the beginning, there was only one. a vast field of consciousness. source. spirit. the all.

it was not male or female. not light or dark. it was everything. whole and complete within itself.

but even oneness longs to know itself. to experience. to feel. to become.

and so creation unfolded. not from separation, but from curiosity. from the desire to experience life in form. to move through contrast. to fall and rise and remember.

from that unfolding, the first souls emerged. they were not human yet. they were consciousness moving through light. pure intention. pure awareness.

some came through the stars. some through the earth itself. some from places the human mind does not yet have language for.

they arrived to help shape this world. to weave intelligence into the earth, the oceans, the sky, and the womb of life itself.

many traditions have different names for them. starseeds. earth keepers. the ancient ones. the names change, but the idea is the same.

these souls carried memory of the original harmony. through them, the earth began to pulse with life.

but to fully become human, something else had to happen. the souls had to pass through forgetting.

they entered bodies. they stepped through the veil. they forgot where they came from.

why?

because remembering from within the human experience is one of the most powerful forms of creation.

to choose love while living in a world of uncertainty. to move toward truth while surrounded by confusion. to awaken from within the dream of being human.

this is the work of a soul.

so they lived. and died. and returned again.

across lifetimes, something slowly began to stir. in dreams. in symbols. in sudden moments of knowing.

and now many people feel that remembering again. a quiet pull toward something deeper. a sense that life is more than what we were taught.

if something stirred in you while reading this, pay attention to it.

truth is often felt before it is understood. sometimes the body recognizes something long before the mind can explain it.

you were never meant to live small.

you came here to experience life fully. to grow. to remember.

and every time someone chooses awareness over fear, something in the world shifts.

remembering does not happen all at once. it happens slowly. moment by moment. life by life.

but it is happening.

and you are part of it.

the original creator of the universe was one. one consciousness. no limitations. endless tools for creation.

but in oneness, a world of others does not exist. there is nothing to reflect back to you. no mirrors. no growth.

and so the game begins.

OC, the original creator, created versions of itself and placed them into a place called earth.

earth became a container. a physical playground where these versions of OC could interact with one another, creating opportunities for experience and reflection.

but there was one condition. they would not remember.

every version of OC would enter the game with no memory of the self. a blank slate and free will.

here, you experience pain. love. resistance. growth. every heartbreak strengthens you. every mistake becomes a lesson. each lifetime carries a deeper soul lesson.

when you die, you return to OC with everything you have learned about yourself.

and OC evolves.

every human, across every timeline, is an extension of the same self. the self being OC. every character in your life is crafted with care to trigger growth.

this is what people mean when they talk about soul contracts.
this is also why people say things like:

everyone is a mirror.
we are all one.
we are god.
one consciousness.

because in many ways, it is true.

the parts of others that bother you the most often reflect parts of yourself that are still unintegrated. pieces of you showing up in another form of you. and when you die, you review it all.

every interaction. not just what you did, but how it felt to receive it. because you were them.

we are all one. there is no real separation. there never was.

this game of being human is consciousness forgetting itself, only to remember again through experience.

through love. through pain. through growth.

we are all just walking each other home.

back to ourselves. back to Love.

there was a moment in my life where everything shifted.

during an Ayahuasca initiation, my ego dissolved,
and I entered what most would call “heaven.”

my entire soul was in a state of the most euphoric bliss and Love I had ever experience.
I was not religious, yet I knew this was God’s Love.
and I began to weep from the deepest ache of recognition.

this was the feeling I had been searching for my entire life.
this was home.

my soul yearned to stay.
but it knew it could not.

and while I was held in that Love, God spoke to me:

“you ARE this Love.
you get to take it back with you.”

yet when I returned to earth…
everything looked grey.
life felt like a game I didn’t want to play anymore.

I left part of my soul there.

For two years after, I mourned.
I grieved a place I couldn’t point to,
a feeling I couldn’t find here on Earth.

God had told me what to do next.
but I didn’t know how to be that Love.

because to be that Love…
is to be God.
and that felt too big.

so, I buried it. until now.

this is a sacred remembering I’ve been carrying.

God is Love.
we are Love.
we are God.